Pianomom

My mother was a renowned performance pianist by age twelve. She read sheet music like one would breathe air. It was a gift - an innate ability. She’d fill in for people, being handed complicated music moments before an event, only to beautifully and eloquently nail it. When she was 18 she lost half of … Continue reading Pianomom →

The end

Read "The middle..." here. Why in the hell did I think this was a great set of titles for the story of mom’s death?! The beginning... made sense, The middle... yup, but THE END?! What kind of morbid portion of my brain allowed that one to sneak by? I’ve been staring at a blank screen, … Continue reading The end →

The beginning…

Today was the day, a year ago, that my mom finally went to the doctor, which sent her to the ER, which sent her to the ICU. She had been sick for over two weeks and it wasn’t getting better. She’d spent the night before on my couch, trying to sleep propped up because the … Continue reading The beginning… →

Wrenched

I can't feel you around me like I thought I would. I had no doubt you'd live forever — as I've always believed that god / love / energy never dies, it just transforms — but I ache for the way you used to exist. A text away, long and heartfelt phone calls. A hug, one … Continue reading Wrenched →

Oh, Mom

My mom passed away April 20, 2018 - the most unexpected and tragic event of my life. I wrote a speech for the Celebration of Life, and when I chose to post it on my blog, I wrote an intro explaining it (read here). However, here is the speech that poured from me while the … Continue reading Oh, Mom →

An ode to The Meadows

My parents bought 60 acres over a decade ago with dreams of our entire family building on it, complete with visuals of all the grandchildren riding around on bikes between the houses to borrow and return butter. The son married a Canadian and moved to Vancouver, B.C. and has no desire to build and/or return … Continue reading An ode to The Meadows →

Struggle & Love

I have spent the last week feeling like one more teeny tiny microscopic thing is going to be what does me in. I have dealt with so much suffering — or if I want to look at it from an enlightened angle, growth — in the last few months... I mean, the Struggle is Real people. … Continue reading Struggle & Love →