My mother was a renowned performance pianist by age twelve. She read sheet music like one would breathe air. It was a gift - an innate ability. She’d fill in for people, being handed complicated music moments before an event, only to beautifully and eloquently nail it. When she was 18 she lost half of … Continue reading Pianomom
Tag: family
The end
Read "The middle..." here. Why in the hell did I think this was a great set of titles for the story of mom’s death?! The beginning... made sense, The middle... yup, but THE END?! What kind of morbid portion of my brain allowed that one to sneak by? I’ve been staring at a blank screen, … Continue reading The end
The beginning…
Today was the day, a year ago, that my mom finally went to the doctor, which sent her to the ER, which sent her to the ICU. She had been sick for over two weeks and it wasn’t getting better. She’d spent the night before on my couch, trying to sleep propped up because the … Continue reading The beginning…
Moving Forward
I finally picked out a movie and put it on. It was about death and how one navigates the life that ensues, and I only watched in bursts as I focused on sorting your boxes, but I let it play twice for good measure. The world didn't end, you didn't stop loving me, and I … Continue reading Moving Forward
Wrenched
I can't feel you around me like I thought I would. I had no doubt you'd live forever — as I've always believed that god / love / energy never dies, it just transforms — but I ache for the way you used to exist. A text away, long and heartfelt phone calls. A hug, one … Continue reading Wrenched
Oh, Mom
My mom passed away April 20, 2018 - the most unexpected and tragic event of my life. I wrote a speech for the Celebration of Life, and when I chose to post it on my blog, I wrote an intro explaining it (read here). However, here is the speech that poured from me while the … Continue reading Oh, Mom
Funeral
My mom passed away 18 days ago. Complete shock; I am still in denial. She was "healthy as a horse" and never got sick. If she did, she'd be better in a day or so, and we never worried about her. She also hadn't been to a doctor in 20 years, so when she started … Continue reading Funeral
An ode to The Meadows
My parents bought 60 acres over a decade ago with dreams of our entire family building on it, complete with visuals of all the grandchildren riding around on bikes between the houses to borrow and return butter. The son married a Canadian and moved to Vancouver, B.C. and has no desire to build and/or return … Continue reading An ode to The Meadows
Big sister
Who's my big sister? She's the Bimmy to my Dodo. She's the Yaaallloow! to my Purrrpllle! She's the reason I wear black socks with my black pants and shoes now like a grown up, and the reason I change my kitchen sponges out frequently. She was the escape driver that snuck me out of the … Continue reading Big sister
Struggle & Love
I have spent the last week feeling like one more teeny tiny microscopic thing is going to be what does me in. I have dealt with so much suffering — or if I want to look at it from an enlightened angle, growth — in the last few months... I mean, the Struggle is Real people. … Continue reading Struggle & Love
Time Off
Expectations will kill you. They're the big cloudy hopeful dream standing in front of you, that never is quite within your grasp. You have a wonderful four days off looming, and those, by golly, will come and go, but the dream of all what can be done, could be done, will be done... will not, … Continue reading Time Off
When you’re a mom
When you're a mom there's no "off the clock." You stay up with the fever and the asthma attack and fighting monsters and you still go to work in the morning. You buy lots of little clothes while you sew your own buttons back on. You make sure they're fed before rushing to the bus … Continue reading When you’re a mom
Ramblings of a Dodo 