Oh, Mom

My mom passed away April 20, 2018 - the most unexpected and tragic event of my life. I wrote a speech for the Celebration of Life, and when I chose to post it on my blog, I wrote an intro explaining it (read here). However, here is the speech that poured from me while the … Continue reading Oh, Mom →

Funeral

My mom passed away 18 days ago. Complete shock; I am still in denial. She was "healthy as a horse" and never got sick. If she did, she'd be better in a day or so, and we never worried about her. She also hadn't been to a doctor in 20 years, so when she started … Continue reading Funeral →

Welcome

My dear, sweet baby sister, You’re going to be a wonderful mom. You know how I know? Because you’re the most loving person I know. Whenever I’ve needed a hug? You’ll give one. And not just one of those “Oh, hey, nice to see you” hugs, but a full body experience for at least the … Continue reading Welcome →

“I’ve got some words and I cannot let them die in me.” – Macklemore

"I am a writer, because I write." - Cheryl Strayed I've always written, in some form or another, since I was little. I remember the first time I let myself be overcome with expressing myself on paper, it was in the fourth grade at Edgemont Elementary School, and I was asked to do a report … Continue reading “I’ve got some words and I cannot let them die in me.” – Macklemore →

The garden is overgrown now

My husband hurt his shoulder at work one year ago today. He heard a snap, felt the familiar pop, and assumed he'd pulled/strained it, again. Six weeks later he could not bear the pain any longer, could not sleep, and so we went to the doctor and began an L & I claim. It's been … Continue reading The garden is overgrown now →

“Well I uh, I did skip the 4th grade.” – Ross

My daughter is one of the smartest people I know. Her brain has yet to fill up, if anything, it seems inexhaustible, immeasurable, endless — this ability to devour and retain information. She was reluctant to speak those first several months, it wasn't until after her first birthday that she decided using her vocal cords … Continue reading “Well I uh, I did skip the 4th grade.” – Ross →

So me

I hope I never get tired of taking pictures, the color blue, and reading. I hope I always love tacos and margaritas and Mexican music and culture. The Spanish language and people. I hope I always remember to focus inwards and be aware, awareness is the root of everything. I hope my kids grow up … Continue reading So me →

Teenage Mom

I got pregnant when I was 16, and had my daughter when I was 17. I once watched a Dr. Phil episode where he talked about how the prefrontal cortex is not fully developed until we're roughly 25 years old, and that it is the part of the brain that processes the consequences of our … Continue reading Teenage Mom →

An ode to The Meadows

My parents bought 60 acres over a decade ago with dreams of our entire family building on it, complete with visuals of all the grandchildren riding around on bikes between the houses to borrow and return butter. The son married a Canadian and moved to Vancouver, B.C. and has no desire to build and/or return … Continue reading An ode to The Meadows →

Big sister

Who's my big sister? She's the Bimmy to my Dodo. She's the Yaaallloow! to my Purrrpllle! She's the reason I wear black socks with my black pants and shoes now like a grown up, and the reason I change my kitchen sponges out frequently. She was the escape driver that snuck me out of the … Continue reading Big sister →

To the grandma that said “If I can do it, you can do it.”

Cape Disappointment, Washington Awesome, epic if you will. My kind of vacay. With hubby on our twelfth wedding anniversary. Head to Portland, then Cannon Beach to play in the waves and walk in the sand (I'll be returning there with the girls!), Seaside, Astoria, up and over the giant 4.1 mile long bridge that actually … Continue reading To the grandma that said “If I can do it, you can do it.” →

I Love EPIC

I love EPIC. Like the moment in Last of the Mohicans when the scene pans wide and you get this gorgeous vista unfolding before you, just as the music is hitting that 2:26 minute mark and there's the big crescendo and all the string instruments come in full force... every hair on my body stands … Continue reading I Love EPIC →

Proud

If you look up the word "proud" in the dictionary, it says: a feeling or deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one's own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired. You have qualities that are widely admired and, being so closely associated … Continue reading Proud →

Struggle & Love

I have spent the last week feeling like one more teeny tiny microscopic thing is going to be what does me in. I have dealt with so much suffering — or if I want to look at it from an enlightened angle, growth — in the last few months... I mean, the Struggle is Real people. … Continue reading Struggle & Love →

Mommy

I know there was a day when you were something other than my mom - those photos you have of the Pre-Mom phase are so surreal that they may as well have been a different incarnation entirely - but since it's not in my consciousness, those Pre-Me days, it's like you've only ever been my … Continue reading Mommy →

The Witness Consciousness

Who am I? That seems to be the theme of my twenties and thirties. Am I the voice that incessantly comments on everything I see, every emotion I have, and waffles from every single viewpoint available? Am I the angry, sad, happy emotions that overwhelm me? Am I this body, the physical form that I … Continue reading The Witness Consciousness →

Time Off

Expectations will kill you. They're the big cloudy hopeful dream standing in front of you, that never is quite within your grasp. You have a wonderful four days off looming, and those, by golly, will come and go, but the dream of all what can be done, could be done, will be done... will not, … Continue reading Time Off →

Recommendation

I was asked by a former employee to write a letter of recommendation for a scholarship she is applying for, and I asked if she wanted it from work-me or me-me, and she wanted one from me-me. I've never been asked for a letter of recommendation before, and I was nervous and, not having the … Continue reading Recommendation →